June 12, 2017:

How NOT to sell your story: When my critique finally came back from the publisher, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it. My excitement level was probably banking a hard turn upwards to 100 mph. Then I saw ugly little slashes throughout and comments in the margin. What? He doesn’t like my clever use of adverbs?

(Examples only) He looked at her lovingly. She tossed the bouquet gingerly. The falcon swept magnificently. The tree fell rapidly. The horn honked loudly. I must admit, when I studied the manuscript and tightened up my adverbs (or removed them totally), my writing improved. Example: He looked at her lovingly can be changed to: With tenderness oozing from every oracle of his body, John’s eyes caressed Olivia’s face. (That’s lovingly, right?)

Ok, maybe that’s a little over the top, but you get my drift. I’m also beginning to understand using adverbs after the word “said” only indicates I’m a lazy writer. Example: “Jump!” she said, excitedly.  Sure, spending more time equals more effort, more thought; but by digging a little deeper, the excitement can be shown--uh oh, there’s the old “show, don’t tell” rule popping up: Heart pounding, arms flailing, Erin screamed, “jump!” (Again, that’s pretty exciting, right?)

What exactly do the experts mean when they say “show, don’t tell?” Here’s a quick answer from Wikipedia: Show, don't tell is a technique often employed in various kinds of texts to enable the reader to experience the story through action, words, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than through the author's exposition, summarization, and description. The goal is not to drown the reader in heavy-handed adjectives, but rather to allow readers to interpret significant details in the text.

Ernest Hemingway said it best: If a writer of prose knows enough of what he is writing about he may omit things that he knows and the reader… will have a feeling of those things as strongly as though the writer had stated them. The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one-eighth of it being above water.

Thanks, Papa!